I have had many friends over the course of my Christian walk who have sat with me and listened to my deepest hurts. Take time to grow in intimacy with the Spirit. As we spend more time seeking out the Holy Spirit’s guidance in our life, we become more aware and more attuned to the convictions and promptings. Ask that the Holy Spirit would guide you and be prepared for the conviction to speak, but more importantly be prepared for the conviction to be silent and to listen. It is so important to know the Truth when we are walking with a friend through a time of suffering.ģ.Discern the Spirit’s prompting. We have the opportunity to help them to stand against Satan as they seek to offer their hurt to the Lord. We have the opportunity to stand beside a hurting friend. If you ever doubt whether or not to speak, it might be time to pray again.Ģ.Read Scripture, study Scripture and know Scripture. Ask God to show you when to speak and when to simply listen. The next time you seek to support a hurting friend, it is important to do these three things.ġ.Pray that your motives would be pure and that your heart would be in the right place. This is why it is so important to be in constant prayer, seeking the Lord’s guidance and the Spirit’s promptings. When our understanding is too finite, too small, and we have to rely on the Lord to heal. He can take the words we say or write and offer tremendous healing.īut this can only happen when we are in touch with the Spirit’s leading and Scripture’s truth.Īnd there will be many times when there is no answer. I’m not saying that God doesn’t work through us. Our words to heal always will fall short because God is the only one who can truly offer that healing. And so my words plow through the moment and often fall short of what my friend needs. I know that often I open my big mouth because I want to help heal my friends.

When we listen, we create a space for God to heal. When we do this for a friend we can listen to their hurt and pray silently for them as they process their pain. Having a friend beside us to listen can bring us the courage to face the unimaginable. All I needed was the very presence of a friend to walk beside me as I opened doors to my pain. In some of my darkest moments, I was too afraid to face my hurt alone. Have you spent time with them, offering up a listening ear? When we listen, we offer up the space to process the hurt. Think about a friend that may be hurting in your life right now. A word of comfort or encouragement as he sought to continue in his blameless ways. They sat in silence for seven days, allowing Job space and time.īut the moment that Job opened his mouth, his friends were ready with their advice and their solutions.Īll he needed was a listening ear. Job’s friends began by doing the right thing. Our motives may be good, but how we act on those intentions has the power to cause more hurt than healing. But my mouth would encourage you comfort from my lips would bring you relief.” -Job 16:3-5 “Will your long-winded speeches never end? What ails you that you keep on arguing? I also could speak like you, if you were in my place I could make fine speeches against you and shake my head at you. This left Job to beg his friends to stop. 'How long will you torment me and crush me with words?” -Job 19:2 But their “fix-it” approach resulted in their arguing, scolding, and questioning Job’s heart.Īnd this left Job feeling more discouraged than ever. In his immense suffering, his friends came to help. For many of us, we get stuck on our desire to help and forget to open our eyes to what is truly needed.Īnd if you’re anything like me, you get yourself in situations where you’re spouting out advice that wasn’t asked for or offering up a short-lived answer that doesn’t help.Īnd yet when we jump into a friends discouragement with a “fix-it” mentality, they are often left feeling more alone and discouraged than before.

Involve yourself with listening ears